Why many women feel stretched thin - and why real self-care matters more than ever

There was an article on the ABC News website a few years back about women having very little time to themselves. The group most affected were women in the “sandwich years”, those years when you may be caring for children while also supporting ageing parents.

This stage of life often spans roughly from the mid-30s to the late-50s, although the exact timing varies. While men can experience similar pressures, caregiving responsibilities still fall disproportionately on women. Being pulled in multiple directions can leave many women feeling exhausted, time-poor and emotionally stretched.

When stress meets coping

Around the same time I read another article about alcohol consumption trends. Young people are drinking less than previous generations, which is encouraging. But the research also showed that women’s drinking patterns are increasingly approaching those of men, who historically have had higher alcohol consumption.

And the group drinking the most? Women in the sandwich years.

It’s not difficult to see why. When you are balancing work, parenting, caring for parents, managing a household and trying to keep everything functioning, a glass of wine can feel like a small moment of relief at the end of the day.

Alcohol and breast cancer risk

At the same time, the media frequently reports on cancer risk, particularly breast cancer, which affects around 1 in 8 Australian women. The association between alcohol and breast cancer has been recognised for many years, but the evidence has become increasingly clear. Research suggests that drinking the equivalent of one small glass of wine (around 100 ml) per day (which is often much less than what many people pour at home) is associated with:

• about a 5% increased risk of breast cancer in pre-menopausal women

• about a 9% increased risk in post-menopausal women

Australian research has also suggested that even less than one standard drink per day may increase the risk of breast cancer recurrence in survivors. Women in the sandwich years are not yet in the highest incidence age group for breast cancer diagnosis, but this is the stage of life when risk begins to climb, and importantly, risk accumulates over time.

A moment to check in

If you are feeling sandwiched between responsibilities, it can be helpful to pause and reflect honestly. Ask yourself:

• How stressed am I feeling most days?

• How time-poor do I feel?

• Do I consistently put myself last?

• When was the last time I laughed until it hurt?

• How good do I feel physically?

• Are hormonal changes (PMS, perimenopause or menopause) making things harder?

• How much alcohol am I actually drinking ... including the drinks no one else sees?

Sometimes simply asking these questions can highlight areas where support or change might help.

Small ways to rebalance

What helps will be different for everyone, but some possibilities include:

Share the load

• Have an open family conversation about dividing responsibilities.

• Consider outside help, if possible, even small tasks like lawn mowing or housework can reduce pressure.

• Or delete things from your long to-do list.

Support your mental health

• Speak with a healthcare provider if you feel anxious, overwhelmed or low.

• Connect with friends and supportive people.

Restore your energy

• Spend time outside and get some sunlight.

• Head into nature.

• Try something creative or new.

• Prioritise sleep whenever possible.

• Try yoga nidra and relaxation techniques.

Look after your physical health

• Reduce or take breaks from alcohol if you feel it has become a habit.

• Move your body, vigorous exercise is a powerful stress reliever and reduces the risk of many diseases, including cancer.

• Eat nourishing foods: vegetables, fruit, protein foods and healthy fats.

Self-care is not indulgence

Caring for yourself during the sandwich years (or anytime) is not a luxury or selfish. Rather, it is essential for your health and wellbeing, now and into the future.

Looking after yourself means more than the occasional bubble bath. It means nourishing your body, protecting your mental health, seeking support when needed, and making space for joy and connection.